Monday, September 28, 2009

Nose Water And Other Adventures

Please note, women will be somewhat grossed out by this entry. Still, any woman who has a son or who owns a husband, or someday hopes to own a husband should pay attention.

Shortly after we moved out here to our retirement home my sinuses closed up. From that day in 1998 until now it's been a big deal if I could breathe from one and a half nostril, mostly if I wanted air it was breathe through my mouth. I comforted myself in knowing that real men didn't need that breathing stuff.

I've been thinking about one of those humidifiers but we go for weeks at a time with the humidity at around 90% and it doesn't help. Then I started seeing little blurbs about sinus irrigation and Neti Pots.

I kept reading about things like that and then I remembered the times I went to sea. Y'all all know that I crossed the Pacific Ocean on LSD, right? Yes I did, on the USS Oak Hill, LSD 7. Anyhow, when I was at sea or even on the coast I could breathe just fine. So I decided to get a Neti Pot. There are many different brands of these things, since I wasn't sure about the whole thing I bought the cheap one at Wally World.

Now what we do with a Neti Pot is to fill it with salt water, stick the spout up one nostril and pour the salt water into that nostril while bending deep over the sink while making "kha-kha" sounds with the head turned so the spout nostril is on the high side.. The water will run out the other nostril. Girls will, of course, hate this. Boys (and us overgrown boys, too) will think it's cool.

The first step is to boil water and let it cool. Since we live where the water gets cut off for no apparent reason we keep several jugs of water around, some of that filtered water we pay for, some plain tap water in case we need to flush the terlets during one of these silly outages and now some boiled water. Now if it is only going to be used for boys and men, take a marksalot and label the jug "NOSE WATER" Boys and men will think this is cool. If girls and women will also use it, just mark it as boiled water. The instructions say to use only plain, not Iodized Salt, I haven't tried that yet as the box carried about a bazillion little premeasured packets of stuff that makes for the perfect mix of Isotonic wash. Please don't ask me what Isotonic is. The directions also say that we can mix two packages per pot to make a Hypertonic wash. The directions do not tell me what hypertonic is or why I should want to, though.

I've been using this thing for well under a week and can already breathe much better. The literature, both on the web and in the box, says that using these things also helps prevent colds and flu as well as all kinds of allergies. I don't worry much about colds, I go out to the supermarket maybe twice a week and always wash my hands when coming home but for the folks with kids in school...

Anyhow, ladies, after you see how much better your son or husband is breathing, you might want to try it yourself. I suspect that women and girls won't think it's quite so cool to watch the water flow from a nostril.
r> After I bought the Neti Pot (who is Neti?) I then read, in the directions inside the pot, that the same company NeilMed makes the same thing in with a squeeze bottle that is supposed be work even better because as one squeezes the bottle the Isotonic (don't I just sound all scientifical?) solution has a better chance to blast loose the awful stuff clogging the breathing apperatus.

Our little Bingo is driving himself crazy with itching. Does anyone know a good doggie shampoo that is good anti-itch stuff? It isn't just him itching and scratching of course, it's trying to sleep with a little itchy Pug.

If your stomach is strong enough you might step over to Michell Malkin's or Patterico's site and see how the lefties are trying to excuse Roman Polanski and excoriate the Swiss for busting him for drugging raping and sodomizing that thirteen year old girl, then pleading the case down some and then fleeing the country. I guess the lefties think the only crime worthy of punishment is voting Republican.

Update. I dunno how I got those paragraphs in bold but it's bedtime and I'm too tired to care. I probably did something silly. Imagine that.

No comments: