Friday, August 28, 2009

Who Knew She Was Russian?

I was having a fairly heavy supper because the local supermarket had those giant sirloin steaks on sale. The kind a a guy in his twenties can eat all at once, everyone else cuts in half to eat, with plenty left for the dogs to get a little taste.

So I needed a light lunch to keep me from looking too much like the Goodyear Blimp. Speaking of the Goodyear Blimp, those things were developed by the US Navy for antisubmarine work, pre WW2. They made several dirigibles where the "balloon" part had a metal frame, but they were unhappy with them. Especially the ones full of hydrogen that blew up and killed everyone, that seemed to make it difficult to find crewmembers for some reason. Seems that when they switched to helium the metal frameworks were too heavy, helium not having as much lifting power. So they tried to work without the metal frameworks. The first try was called the A-Limp. For reasons I either never knew or have forgotten, this wasn't completely satisfactory so they tried again. This one was called the B-Limp. It worked. So well that no matter how many times they were modified, they're still called Blimps. But I digress. Since I'm digressing, though, the Navy's airfield in, I believe, New Jersey, had a hanger big enough for a couple of them at once, the building was (is?) so big that it actually could rain inside if the weather was right. I'm not speaking of leaks, I'm speaking of rain. Impress your friends with that bit of useless knowledge! And then tell me why I know that but can't remember my own phone number.

Anyway, the light lunch. The other week I bought a 32 ounce bottle of Manischewitz Borscht and potato pancake mix in honor of my Russian relatives. Since Linda Lou refuses to eat anything her Mama didn't cook back in Kansas, I had a little less than half that bottle left and some Club Crackers for my lunch. So I had Borscht with a big spoon of sour cream. Hot because although the Russians sometimes eat it cold I'm not that Russian.

Now we already know that Ming the merciless is a Muslim dog because of the way she bullies me every time I have peas but I've never really heard of a dog that likes beets. People don't even like beets. I think that's one of the things that is forbidden as torture, to give Muslim prisoners beets.

Anyhow Ming, Peas be upon her, was right there when the bowl was just wet on the bottom and so I put it down there, expecting her to sniff and then give me a dirty look. Not likely. If there'd been a couple of inches of Borscht left in that bowl she might have drowned while licking. So, it seems I have a half Muslim, half Russian Chinese Pug. Who would've thunk it?

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