Dear Washington

Dear Washington,

Now that the Immigration Reform Bill is on life support, here is how you can get some public support for your next try.

Back in 1965 when you reformed immigration you promised that as soon as the bill was passed into law you'd get a handle on illegal immigration. At that time we were having a big fight about bringing black Americans into full citizenship, including jobs. Well we brought in a bazillion immigrants and noting was done about the illegals. Black Americans still lagged behind on jobs, meanwhile illegals drove the entry level wages down.

In 1986 we had another big immigration reform. You promised us that as soon as the bill was passed you'd get a handle on illegal immigration. No one knows exactly how many illegals are in the country, all we know out here in flyover country is that the jobs we used to have are now done by illegals, at half the wages.

We notice that Teddy Kennedy had much to do with the 1965 bill and the 1986 bill. We notice that the promises of enforcement as still not met.

As you go back to try again, let me make a couple of small suggestions. First, take Kennedy out of the room. Do not let him anywhere near this. He has fixed it twice, it is still broken. That's enough. At some point you must realize that his fixes don't fix anything. Have somebody take him out someplace with a bottle of Scotch and a couple of bimbos and have someone else try.

My next suggestion is to stop fooling around and build the fence. In 1942 we started building a highway to Alaska, finished it, too. While we were building that highway we also put a ten million man Army together. We built more than ten thousand B-24, thousands of tanks and B-17s, the P-47s and millions of M1 Garands. Now you say you can't build a fence.

Washington, forgive me for saying this but I just flat don't believe you when you say we can't build a fence. We think you are telling another lie. Now if these folks were coming in and taking our jobs and we had the kind of pensions you do when someone takes your job in Congress, we wouldn't mind much. Thing is, we don't have those kind of benefits.

We'd like it if you could figure out a way for employers to figure out the the ID the immigrant worker uses to prove he or she is legal is not bogus paper. We'd like it if you put a stop to this sanctuary nonsense. Now if we can figure out a way to make sure that only legit citizens or green card holders are working we won't have to deport the somewhere between five and twelve million, or more illegals. They'd go home. Or turn themselves in.

Washington, it does no good to screech that I'm a horrible racist or nativist or whatever expletive you are using today. You see, you work for me, remember? You promised enforcement. Instead of giving enforcement you seem to be looking for ways to lock up border patrolmen.

So, you want my support for immigration reform? First find those folks who are under deportation orders and make them go away. Build that fence. Find, and jail those who are here using stolen IDs. Then we'll talk.

Love, Peter