Thursday, October 22, 2009

Dear Experts

Here is another thing I don't quite understand. The lamestream media rejoices in telling us that we must make accommodations with Islam because there is no real defense against terrorism. Then that same media gets all up in arms because we're offing alQueda types with Hellfire missiles from drones.

Y'all please forgive me for bein' a pore dumb redneck but since we've actually been doing a pretty fair job of handling terrorism "round here for about eight years now while the alQ types have managed to do absolutely nothing about the drones bringing death from above, doesn't it seem as if they should be trying to reach accommodations with us? Never mind, we all know it's the lamestream media playing head we win, tails America loses.

I'm reading about "experts" who are now telling us that having a dog is worse for the environment than a Toyota Land Cruiser. They say that we should not have any pets that can't be killed for food. Okay, I'm going to the pet store and buying a couple of experts.

Seriously, who elected these "experts"? Where does one go to become an expert of the relationship of dogs vs Toyota Land Cruiser and the environment? I have three dogs, one a young German Shepherd, with boundless energy. The next is an elderly Pug (mix?) with hardly any energy, who needs to be lifted on and off the couch or char that she used to be able to hop up on. The third is a young Pug with energy enough to run a small city. So, which one is the Land Cruiser? They can't all be. Or is the old girl a Land Cruiser, the young Pug a Greyhound Bus and the German Shepherd a long, full, freight train with a helper engine goin' over the high Sierras?

Or are these "experts" another bunch of power mad, people hating bozos? Most of the folks complaining about the environment say that the biggest problem is too many people. Um, for the folks that think that, there is a very simple solution. Yet they are always saying that it's MY children and grandchildren that are the problem.

Dear Experts: You claim an emergency because there are too many people. The answer to that problem is simple. Go into the bathroom, fill the tub with nice hot water. Take a razor blade with you, or a nice sharp knife. Pour yourself a nice big glass of your favorite wine or spirits. Climb into the tub and take a nice deep sip out of your glass. Now if you are Charles Johnson or Andy Sullivan you can, instead, have a deep drink of your bathwater, instead.

Now, cut the wrist you aren't using for the glass. Be sure and make lengthwise cuts, crosswise cuts don't kill you very well, they just make for hard work for the doctors trying to repair those tendons and ligaments. Now, lie back and finish your drink and think about the great thing you're doing for Mother Gaia.

Funny, that trick would work for most Journalists, too.

Update: I just read, over at Tammi's World, that her mother, Mama Vi, is having a rough time. Good thoughts and earnest prayers needed.

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